It hit me. Hard in the face.

It hit me as I left the restaurant with my friends tonight that I am so bored with everything. The only reason I stayed out so long is because I wanted to see a band that had been setting up since shortly after I got there. Their set started as my friends decided it was time to leave.

Whatever, I guess. All I wanted was my bed by then.

I departed from my friends hurriedly.

——

It frustrates me when what I say is met with “Yeah” or “Mhmm” or “I know” or some other affirmative, but disinterested, dismissive answer.

It frustrates me more when I resign myself to those pithy little words. But it’s a pre-emptive resignation: why try if no one else will?

Does conversation exist? What has happened to those skills? Are we all so vapid that we don’t even make an effort to challenge ourselves with the task of understanding someone else?

Am I so self-centered and elitist that I can’t have a conversation with anyone who doesn’t ~get~ what I mean? Maybe. Is there anything really to ~get~ in what I say? Sometimes.

——

“One Step at a Time” by Jordin Sparks was on the radio.

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yetWonder when and where and how you’re gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you’re feeling more and more frustrated
And you’re getting all kind of impatient waiting

Relevant.

——

I’m like that kid in first grade who already knows how to read and has decided to see what glue tastes like for fun.

Ready for something new and something good.