Having this with lunch today. YUM-O.
Call me Kitchen Macguyver
Just made a pizza. Devoured it before I had a chance to document it’s existence, but I want to tell you (aka remember) how I made it.
Start off with a tortilla. Just a plain one. Mine is Chi-Chi’s brand and is the big burrito kind. And this is sort of the genius of this whole thing! A mothertrucking tortilla! Before today, tortillas had two uses: tacos and sandwich wraps. A girl can only have so many sandwiches and tacos before she runs out of taco and sandwich stuff.
Put the tortilla on a Pam’d baking sheet. My baking sheet is perforated which helps to ensure even cooking and non-sticking. This perforated baking sheet is my new favorite thing and I highly recommend it to people who hate to scrape their Totina’s Pizza Rolls off a nasty, crusty baking sheet.
Spread 2 Tbs of tomato sauce evenly across the tortilla. Personally, I hate when my pizza is drowning in sauce (Chicago style pizza is a crime.), so follow your heart on this one. It is TOTES your choice, friend.
Get the cheese. The cheese is the best part of pizza and anyone saying otherwise is probably being paid to tell such heinous lies. Follow your heart with cheese too. Personally, I really follow my heart like deep into this issue. I also put some basil and garlic salt on at this point too—but not too much, because both can be pretty overwhelming.
Gather your toppings while ye may. My toppings were diced white onion, thinly slice roma tomatos (my new love), fresh mushrooms, and more cheese. I’m not a vegetarian or anything, but I thought that adding a meat topping might literally overwhelm the tortilla in that when I tried to eat it, everything would fall off because my makeshift crust would collapse under the pressure of holding up such deliciousness.
When I got everything put together, I put it in the oven for 10 minutes at 350 degrees. This was enough time for the crust to get crispy but not burnt, cheese melty, tomatoes tender, etc etc. The pizza ended up being about as big as a 8 inch pizza. Perks—fewer calories with tortilla crust, good for the end of the week when the fridge has slim pickins, stupid proof. No downsides on this one.
The pros and cons of ketchup
pros
-decent dipping agent for french fries at the bar
-best in tiny packets from fast food retaurants
-second best from pneumatic ketchup dispensers seen only at McDonald’s
cons
-slimy
-red; stains
-condensation in the bottle collects and then gets everything wet and slightly ketchup flavored
-tastes bad
-why do people like it?
-seriously inappropriate on eggs, pasta, sausage, chicken (I KNOW)
-IT IS SLIMY GLOP.
-how long has it been since those squeeze bottles at the bar have been washed?
-cap crust
-people who DROWN things in it
-i want to puke
